Internal Family Systems (IFS)
I create a safe and brave space in which all stories are honored, all emotions are welcome and all people are sacred. I resonate with and have many skills to offer if you are struggling with...
Complex trauma history & claiming the life you really want
Many clients come to me when life has become heavy and they feel stuck. This often has its roots in the early developmental years through what is known in psychology as adverse childhood experiences. Most, if not all of us, have had these experiences no matter how stellar our parents may have been. These experiences lead the tender and young parts of us to become burdened by stories of being inherently unworthy and a need to change ourselves in order to belong or even be loved.
I can help you make sense of what was lost in those early years and take stock of how those experiences are impacting you now.
I offer gentle and consensual work with the parts of you which develop in response to difficulty in childhood. This comes from my education in Internal Family Systems and the Neuro-Affective Relational Model (NARM). I can help you understand how you may have taken on survival style(s) that helped you in the past but are holding you back now.
When we work together we will be equally open to the body sensations that show up along with the stories, thoughts and emotions. By tuning into the body sensations we create an important sense of safety that is available to you through the connection with your body at any time.
By working with the emotions and stories that come up we are able to see how your complex trauma history has contributed to you feeling heavy and stuck in your life now. Then the work is not so much to effortfully transition to a path of moving towards what you want but shifting your relationship to the obstacles that stand in the way of what you want. When you do this, the obstacles dissolve on their own and you harness more of your authentic power for going for what you really love and want in life.
Connection & Authenticity
You are struggling with people pleasing behavior, you are having difficulty establishing functional boundaries and you neglect your own needs and wants in favor of meeting the needs and wants of others. This often arises from early conditioning starting in childhood in which you learned to not express your full authentic self in order to keep getting the love of your parents and other caretakers.
In psychology this is often referred to the “core dilemma” of childhood-that is the competing needs of connection and authenticity. Many of us millennials and earlier generations were punished for being ourselves by having the love and connection of our caretakers revoked through verbal, emotional, spiritual and even physical abuse and neglect. When we come into adulthood we carry with us the story that it is not possible to have connection and be our true, authentic and full selves.
In adulthood it is possible to be ourselves and have connections with others. Using Internal Family Systems we will offer the parts of you that were harmed in childhood the love and compassion they are longing for. We will help you release the stories of having to people please in order to be loved so you can be honest and whole in your relationships.
I can help you find a sense of internal safety so that you can voice and uphold boundaries and know that you will be ok no matter how others respond. As you connect more with yourself you will find deeper and more meaningful connections with others because those connections will be based on your true self.
Anxiety & Overwhelm
It makes sense to feel anxious and overwhelmed right now-the world resembles a dystopian novel more and more every day. Almost every client I have worked with since I started out in the OCOM student clinic in 2014 has had a story of feeling unrooted, disconnected from their bodies and overwhelmed by their own life circumstances as well as current events in the world.
I can help you understand your anxiety and overwhelm by facing these states with compassion and care. Together we will get to know the parts of you that get overwhelmed and understand what you need to soothe those feelings. I can help you connect with your body and your inner wisdom so that you can feel more secure in even the most difficult circumstances. This comes from the energy of the Self in Internal Family Systems which is the part of us that is always able to have compassion, calm and a sense of connection.
When we meet our anxious and overwhelmed parts with the steadfast compassion of self we can thaw a frozen state of disassociation, calm the feeling of needing to run or flee and soothe the fight reaction. All of the nervous system states of freeze/fight/flight/fawn are helpful at times but we know they get in the way when they become habitual. I help by offering my compassionate open heart and helping you do the same for yourself in these instances.
This is also an area where working with spirit and ritual practice can especially come into play. The earth is alive and gravity is her love language. Self care can be a magical process of grounding and connecting to your body and the earth. I offer practices that are rooted in nervous system science and allow you to feel the safety of being held by the earth so that you can also feel safe in your body.
IFS and Somatic Coaching services are $115 per hour.
